My boyfriend have been dating 3 years
I still want to be with him and stay together for a long time, but I just want to get one hookup in while I'm young. Is it OK to just have one hookup, or should I just keep all these fantasies to myself? Who doesn't want to sleep with that stranger who caught your eye on the street? Mutual monogamy is the ultimate proof of the golden rule: When you think about stepping out on someone, it doesn't seem like such a big deal. If you cheat on your guy, you may ruin the relationship.I would feel so guilty, but with him I'm getting so bored. Who doesn't flip through Tinder and think, "Maybe…"? You could tell him you want an open relationship or "a break," but almost every couple that has that chat ends up broken. What seems like easy way out of this — being too nice to him — is actually the hard way, because it will only lead to more trouble when he doesn't get the message. Tell him that you now realize it was an inappropriate mistake and you want your relationship to be professional from now on. You don't owe him a lengthy explanation — you were baring your boobs, not your heart.Like most other things in life, courtships have a sell-by date.The truth is that if, after three years, you want a wedding and your partner doesn't (or vice-versa) then something's wrong. We knew a couple who broke up after living together. We discussed moving in together when my lease is up in October, but now I know he’s not ready. I tell him that he can still have that if we’re living together, but he’s still not sure when he’ll be ready. He feels really strongly about living with me and equates it to marriage.
If it doesn’t happen by your one year anniversary, I’d say it’s time to “go on now go, walk out the door”. I can’t see a good reason to be engaged for more than a few months or for as long as it takes to plan your perfect wedding. And by the way, the same applies to guys dating girls that won’t commit.I get asked a lot of relationship-themed questions given where I work, and one of them is from women with boyfriends who want to know how long to wait for the ring.These aren’t women who have been dating for two months, but rather women who are in long-term relationships.But you could tell him about all those things you fantasize about doing with someone else — and then try them out with the guy you love. The cost of lying is the guilt you'll carry and the secrets you'll keep, both of which may push you and your boyfriend further apart.I love your column and think you do a great job of answering questions and concerns with sympathy, empathy and insight. I asked if that’s why he doesn’t want to move in—because he’s afraid we’ll break up and it’ll be a pain to move out.